Poor Guy's Guide to Success: My Massage Parlor Can't Be This Sassy

Starting with a street, every customer is scammed
When you stand under the neon sign of 「Tianhai Bathhouse」, an electronic voice suddenly explodes in your mind:
[Ping! Suitable host detected] 【Massage Master System Bound Successfully】
【Newbie Package: 10sqm Village Storefront×1 | Yellowed Massage Bed×1 | Creaky Folding Chairs×3】

Looking at the 50,000巨款 in your phone's account, you realize something's off—yesterday you were counting scallions in instant noodles, and today you're applying oil on customers' waists?

▍Basic Massage Package (Essential 3 for Beginners)

🔞 Peachy Massage Lv.1

\"Regular or...?\"
In the suggestive lighting, perform Special Acupressure, success rate proportional to client's attractiveness

🥊 Zuon Bone-Setting Lv.2

\"Ow ow ow!—Wait, my neck can move now!\"
Gain double points with the client's screams

💆 Quantum Hypnosis Palm Lv.3

\"Do you need extra time?\"
The divine technique for guests to automatically renew their 'sage time'

▍Hidden Skill Tree (Caution Required for Skill Points)

[Midnight Special] Intravenous Injection Massage - Requires Lv.5 Medical Knowledge
[404 Warning] Organ Relaxation Care - Comes with Janitorial Skills
[Urban Legend] Memory Erasure Massage - Consumes 3 Sanity Points per Use

※ Special orders trigger surveillance plots:
\"Sirens wail outside. A regular customer pulls out a gun: 'Help me dispose of this'\"
(Ensure Lv.7 Counter-Surveillance Skill is unlocked at this point)

▍Guest Encyclopedia (Partial)

\"Technical skills are good, but why is your hand slipperier than mine?\"
——涂红色指甲油的OL（Lv.3 会偷偷掐你屁股）

\"Your prostate care... is it正规吗？\"
——戴大金链子的光头男（Lv.5 随身带甩棍）

\"Can you help dispose of the body?\"
——穿校服的萌妹子（Lv.9 建议立即报警）

▍系统生存指南

⚠️ 每完成10个普通订单必刷1个死亡flag：

72小时内获得5个五星好评（否则触发煤气泄漏事件）
在特警到达前清除血迹（倒计时03:00）
让市长秘书在按摩时说出机密（需要Lv.8话术）

【温馨提醒】本系统死亡率83%，当您看到这条提示时
隔壁店的王师傅正在来砸场的路上...

*作者：战争机器*

A high-quality massage system?！I got this?